LIFE SENTENCE

Amidst the marks of mucked up memories

There are several I will never

Novate nor sever.

They clustered when they careened

And crashed into my expectations.

Faking fun you flirted forever,

Far away from friendship,

Flinging my fragile affection

Into fiery flames

That I never ever fully forgot.

I know now that you used me

And I was ripe to be ruined.

Youthful beyond your years,

Yearning ‘til younger eyes

Made my head turn

Tired, tearful and trapped.

Yet we dared into dreams,

Dramatised and documented.

Drifting and drooping,

Dreariness dogged our days,

Until a dangerous damsel decoupled us.

Slipping into my slumbers,

Snaking around my soul,

Slithering inside my slender veins,

You enslaved me,

Splendid serpent,

Soothed me and slid away.

From then on I was spent,

Though I thought otherwise.

Still now I prize your poison,

Relishing its rough reminders,

And drinking every drip and drop
Before they mar my empty mouth.

JUDGED

Auburn semi-desert,

Tired under the bleak sky.

A tattered terrain

Willing itself into existence

For billions of years

Has finally collapsed to near nothingness.

Flat, it goes on,

Seemingly forever.

Only random mounds

Of oddly rounded rubble

Punctuate the predictability.

Like it, I am nearing exhaustion.

My feet are wounded

From the rubbing of silicon sandals.

Gritty dust works like powdered emery

On blisters that burst long ago.

I escaped - 

Daring and exhilarating -

But the onset of weariness

Caught me by surprise.

I need to pace myself.

I need to rest.

I need to lean

Against any rotting edifice.

Disturbed, a dusky cockroach

Scrabbles its way between the cracks,

With an alert antenna visible,

Twitching in the weak sunlight.

Survivor of the judgement,

Just like me.

Survivors devour survivors to survive.

Food is food.

As a penalty for its stupid curiosity,

I capture the creature.

My meal wriggles, frantic, its extremes visible

In my clenched fist.

COASTAL GHOSTS

I love the lunging growl of the shorebreak

In the last moments of wakeful still night.

It sings sweet songs of years long gone and dead

And comforts me, soothing my splintered plight.

Waves roll and thump and then the sea turns mute

Before the next set crashes and crumbles

Across wet sands of sounds and murmurings,

Rocking rigid stars with rage and rumbles.

But in my lonely bed all noise abates

As my eyes close to see a smiling face;

And your laughing voice drowns out all rivals -

Only sound sleep disperses our embrace.

THE END

There are days when every effort fails -
No disasters but lots of little defeats
Grind me down and make me sad
‘Til all I see is corrupt and mad.

It’s as if I am called to surrender
Because there’s no more support;
And I really consider that course,
Pulled to it by dreadful foul force.

Thoughtless insults cut deep scars -
No-one believes in me any more.
Years of advancement brought nought –
Where’s natural justice in this life’s court?

How did it all get to this point?
Why did I not see it coming?
When did mere bad become worst?
Who was it lost faith in me first?

I put in every possible effort
And I kept trying and trying;
But when my faith proved absurd
Why did they all doubt my word?

So I limp languidly forward -
Toward nothing and nowhere -
Stripped of all poise and all pride.
I long for one true friend at my side.

CLOWN

Strangled truth always insults

And takes a pompous position.

Patronising to protect

It wields a blade so blunt

That blood gushes in gallons

From gashes newly unmasked.

No wonder I skulk and hide

To retain a whisker of pride.

Every effort rebuffed

And all my strength stolen,

I regather and recover

To face the next denial.

My offer is heartfelt and noble,

Generous without jeopardy,

But no-one accepts a gift

Without a deal to enrich it.

Love stirs and strains my soul
But the brutal beat never goes on.

EASY CHILL

How can a woman’s smile

Mess me up so much?

Why not voice or sage guile,

Hot eyes or warm touch?

Your voice trips ‘cross the distance

And stunned I stall and stutter.

Then I feign fickle resistance,

Extremities flicked on to flutter.

Beguiled I am up for surrender

To promise of laughter and pleasure -

Constrained conversation so slender,

Stored in our minds like gilt treasure.

Those eyes ignite such flames –

Black like backdrops of stars –

And bid me quickly make claims

Before you discover my scars.

Such a touch I never have known

But I pray it will soon bring delight

As we throw off fears of years unknown,

And splendoured evening slides into night.

So send me your smiles and more

And colour my dreams with desires

'Til I kiss those lips glossed with allure
And we embrace to straddle love’s fires.

COLD BED

Nothing approaches the coldness
Of a lonely bed at night,
No matter what the season
And regardless of moonlight;
Except perhaps the wakening
As day pierces the dark
To ask so many questions
And freeze the broken heart.
Every diary's date slips by
And scars remain so tender;
Months and years and so much more -
Empty decades of blank agenda.
There must be memories to mark
And sweet sensations to savour;
Bitterness just makes them sour,
'Til regret ruins all their flavour.