NEGATIVE GEARING

Living in a tent

And paying too much rent;

It’s far too hot to rain again,

So at least I’ll get a suntan.

I am an old fashioned man.

When I hear women screaming,

And children crying,

It makes me worry.

And then I remember

I live in this half hell

Of postmodern relativism,

Where any behaviour is blessed

In the name of tolerance,

And only the aged

Are not accepted.

A man’s ghostly black heart stores up follies -

Think of Gatsby, or Heathcliff, or Enjolras -

And yet the polo player always wins

In tainted times like these.

For women there’s no real choice –

To be a fool is still by far the safest ploy.

Living in a flat

And hoarding too much gold;

It’s warmer by the minute

And it’s never been so cold.