"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started
and know the place for the first time." (T S Eliot)
"A dark and chanted verse is what I am." (
Forough Farrokhzad)

Saturday, February 2, 2013

WHY VANISH ?


Why did you vanish from my failing sight?
Why does there seem to be no trace of you?
Why does each broad avenue
            turn into a cul-de-sac?
Why does cold darkness chase away
            every warm source of light?

How was it that you found yourself
Prisoner to such a terrible plight
That the prospect
            of apparent non-existence became
Your perilous strategy for scant survival?

What happened to the vivacious young girl
Who looked ready for any challenge?
What happened to your winning optimism?
Where did that boundless confidence go?

What did they do to you?
Whoever they were – or, indeed,
Whatever they were?
How did you come to decide
That you wanted cheap oblivion
Rather than revenge?

Or did you do something to yourself
Something for which you just can’t seek forgiveness?
Didn’t you know that I would forgive anything?
Oh!  If only you had come to me for help!

Sometimes I try to imagine
How you could actually vanish.
Has your beauty faded so much –
That you pass unnoticed in the ugly crowd?

Did the laughter ever present in your voice recede
So far that it faded to beguiling no more?
Were your sense of humor and your love of fun
Hammered out of you on life’s hard anvils?

Or did you find someone …
Someone who knew the value of what you were hiding?
And has he camouflaged you so well
That you are happy in an oblivion bordered by love?

At times I wonder whether I would prefer to lose you to love
Or go on nursing a fantasy that I could rescue you from bitter exile.
Perhaps finding you happy and loved scares me most of all –
For that would mean you had every reason
to turn me away forever.

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