WHY VANISH ?

Why did you vanish from my failing sight?

Why does there seem to be no trace of you?

Why does each broad avenue
            turn into a cul-de-sac?

Why does cold darkness chase away

            every warm source of light?

How was it that you found yourself

Prisoner to such a terrible plight

That the prospect
            of apparent non-existence became

Your perilous strategy for scant survival?

What happened to the vivacious young girl

Who looked ready for any challenge?

What happened to your winning optimism?

Where did that boundless confidence go?

What did they do to you?

Whoever they were – or, indeed,

Whatever they were?

How did you come to decide

That you wanted cheap oblivion

Rather than revenge?

Or did you do something to yourself –

Something for which you just can’t seek forgiveness?

Didn’t you know that I would forgive anything?

Oh!  If only you had come to me for help!

Sometimes I try to imagine

How you could actually vanish.

Has your beauty faded so much –

That you pass unnoticed in the ugly crowd?

Did the laughter ever present in your voice recede

So far that it faded to beguiling no more?

Were your sense of humor and your love of fun

Hammered out of you on life’s hard anvils?

Or did you find someone …

Someone who knew the value of what you were hiding?

And has he camouflaged you so well

That you are happy in an oblivion bordered by love?

At times I wonder whether I would prefer to lose you to love

Or go on nursing a fantasy that I could rescue you from bitter exile.

Perhaps finding you happy and loved scares me most of all –

For that would mean you had every reason

to turn me away forever.