Saturday, January 8, 2011


The news
Of your death
Shredded me
Like random shrapnel
From a roadside bomb.
Jagged thorns
Tore ragged holes
In my old heart
And left it ridden
With shabby scars.
But I am so lucky
Because I knew you.
I saw you –
Watched you from a distance
At first,
And then
Looked into your eyes.
I touched you –
Sensed your warmth,
And knew I was
So close to heaven.
I talked with you –
Heard the symphonies
That sprang from your voice –
The songs in your Persian phrasing.
I walked with you –
Kept you by my side
So others knew
We were together
And you
Had chosen me.
I laughed with you –
And you were so funny
As you teased me
And told me things
I never would have known.
I worked with you –
Solved problems –
And found solutions,
As we discovered
Each other.
I loved you –
Brief moments –
Stolen and stored away,
Before we wept,
Separated and bereft.
I wondered about you –
Long years of other
As we grew old
And walked our paths.
I sought you –
Too late it seems –
And long after
Your pain was gone.
I am left
With holes
In my heart
And scars
Set forever.
Sometimes I dream of you
And some of the smallest
Holes in my heart
Are filled for a moment.
Sometimes I talk to you
And I hear you answer
In your sing-song voice
That pleases my ears.
Sometimes I pray for you
And God tells me
Not to worry –
For He has rescued you.
Sometimes I lust for you –
The hardest cut of all.
Your beauty rises up
And falls against me, softly.
Sometimes I simply love you
And my heart’s scars
Are salved so sweetly
With the joy of privilege.
You were special.
You were unique.
You were too much
For a man like me.
And yet,
After decades,
I still see your face
As it was then –
Nothing compares
And nothing ever will.

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