THE RECKONING

I sleep then wake

Feverish with fear and dread,
My mind confused
By dreams
That split my head,
Nightmares that come
Repeating but random,
Ghastly grey tales
Of chances abandoned.
I seem to be
A teenager once more;
And yet I'm old,
Washed up on some bleak shore,
Waiting to be graded
And scored again,
Although my brain's too weak
To guide a pen.
I fail to win
First team jersey's glory,
Sidelined as they headlined
The great story.
I'm left behind
As others board the bus
And then I wait
Not knowing whom to trust.
The theme it seems
Is that it all was lost
Back then
When I could not reckon
The cost.